


Soliloquy

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Death, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-15
Updated: 2018-12-15
Packaged: 2019-09-19 11:10:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17000454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Gabriel left heaven, fleeing the fighting and the war to come.  But it wasn’t easy to flee, he lost so much…until someone grants him a new path. Inspired by the Soliloquy from Les Miserables.





	Soliloquy

_What have I done? Sweet Jesus, what have I done? Become a thief in the night, become a dog on the run._

Gabriel sat in the abandoned church as let out a couple sighs.  Was this really what it had come to?  Him hiding away for the rest of eternity, never to see his family again?  The fighting in heaven reached is height, and he fled.  He knew that angels would be sent to find him.  Father would worry in his absence, but he hoped…maybe if he left, the fighting would stop. 

_Have I fallen so far, and is the hour so late, that nothing remains but the cry of my hate?_

But the fighting didn’t stop.  It got worse.  Lucifer fell…so many angels…fell.  Even Gabriel.  Now that he was on Earth, not returning to heaven, he would eventually ‘fall’ as well.  His grace would be cut off and limited.  But that wouldn’t happen for a few millennia.  But in that time, he could only wait, and pray, that someday, everything would go back to the way it was.  With Michael and Lucifer together in heaven, with father and him…

_The cries in the dark that nobody hears. Here where I stand at the turning of the years._

A silent sob escaped Gabriel as he put his head in his hands.  He begged everyone to stop the violence, stop the hatred, but no one heard him.  And now…all anyone could hear was the cries of the angels as they fell from heaven.  He could hear his brother cry out in pain as he descended from hell and was locked away, away where no one would see or hear from him again. 

_If there's another way to go, I missed it twenty long years ago. My life was a war that could never be won._

But the fighting wouldn’t stop.  In his mind, he heard whispers of his father’s word.  Someday, Lucifer would be free, when his true vessel and Michael’s walked the earth.  Then the big show would begin, then it would all end.  Gabriel curled in on himself, wrapping his new arms, the arms of his vessel, around his body as he tried to get the voices of the angels to stop…  They cried for Lucifer, the cried for father, they cried for him.  But he couldn’t go back…not without his brother.

_They gave me a number and they murdered Valjean. When they chained me and left me for dead, just for stealing a mouthful of bread_

So now, for all of heaven knew, he was dead.  He would never return to heaven, leaving Michael and Raphael in charge.  But that was what he wanted, wasn’t it?  He left to escape the fighting, but no one could escape that…so now he was stuck on earth.  What was he to do?

_Yet why did I allow this man to touch my soul and teach me love?_

Gabriel felt something drape over his shoulders and he looked up to see a dark haired man smile down at him.  This man who found him when he collapsed in that field.  When the angels fell, Gabriel’s body was torn.  A piece of his heart remained in heaven, but another piece fell to earth with his beloved brother.  He could never really be one piece, not anymore.  And that realization make him break down, only to find help in the eyes of a stranger. 

_He treated me like any other. He gave me his trust. He called me brother._

The man spoke no words at first, only offering smiles and glances.  It was as if he knew something about Gabriel before he said anything.  But when he did speak, his voice echoed around the small building as he guided Gabriel to the pew.  “This is as close as you want to get to your home, isn’t brother?”  The man asked him, before smiling and sitting next to him.  “Take all the time you need.” 

_My life he claims for God above, can such things be? For I had come to hate the world, this world that always hated me._

Gabriel could sense in the man something different.  Something forbidden.  Something…lost?  He couldn’t place it.  But as he sat there, he realized he didn’t care.  When he first came to earth, he found everything fascinating, but now…he had come to despise it.  Some humans were grand, kind and loving, like this man…but others, they were cruel and took advantage…  And for the first time, he could see things through Lucifer’s eyes.  For how could people such as that, be so beloved in his father’s eyes? 

_Take an eye for an eye! Turn your heart into stone! This is all I have lived for! This is all I have known!_

“Perhaps a new start is what you need.”  The stranger spoke as he looked at Gabriel.  “You run from a family, hiding away, hating the people you see.  Perhaps a new way, is just what you need?”  The stranger held out his hand.  Gabriel took it wearily and found himself in a new place.  Part of him was shocked the man had such power, but then another part of him said he was right all along.  This stranger was no man…he was a God. 

_One word from him and I'd be back, beneath the lash, upon the rack. Instead he offers me my freedom. I feel my shame inside me like a knife._

Gabriel gulped as the man led him down a path.  This stranger, he could send Gabriel back to heaven, he could tell them he was here…but he didn’t.  Why?  “Because you need a different lesson.”  The stranger said as he led the way to a small house by a cliff.  “And I am here to teach it to you.”  Gabriel nodded as he followed the man. 

_He told me that I have a soul, how does he know? What spirit comes to move my life? Is there another way to go?_

“What is my lesson?”  Gabriel asked, finally speaking to him.  “You must learn the lesson of justice.  You feel justice is out of reach, so you punish those who take it from you.  You flee your family, the family who needs you, because you feel wronged, your brother was wronged.  So you will now spend the rest of your life, providing others their denied justice.”  The man’s eyes flashed a vibrant green as a mist poured off of him. 

_I am reaching, but I fall, and the night is closing in. And I stare into the void, to the whirlpool of my sin._

Gabriel tried to move, but his grace was held fast.  How did this creature have such a control over him?  The mist surrounded Gabriel and invaded his very being, wrapping him up in a blanket of smoke.  He choked on the mist as he fought.  He tried to spread his wings, but they were locked in place, as if a chain were wrapped around them.  He heard the man chuckle as the mist finally began to dissipate. 

_I'll escape now from the world, from the world of Jean Valjean. Jean Valjean is nothing now. Another story must begin!_

“Gone is Gabriel, fallen son of God.”  The man spoke proudly.  But as he spoke, his young face turned old, his body began to hunch over.  “Gone now is Jason, son of Cole.”  He said, signaling to his heart.  “All that remains…is Loki, God of tricks.  God of Justice.”  The man let out a couple labored breaths before he sat back against a chair and shut his eyes, never to open them again. 

 

Memories flooded Gabriel’s mind, of the man who just passed, the label he was now given.  He felt a rush of power, a new kind of power that he never had before.  He looked down to the stranger and gave a sad smile.  This stranger gave his life so Gabriel’s could begin a new…and he would not take it for granted.  The stranger was right, he was denied justice, justice for his brothers, justice for their siblings, justice for his father…so he vowed, with this newfound title…no one would want for justice again. 

 

And gone was Gabriel…and so entered the spirit of Loki. 


End file.
